I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
