Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
