Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
