At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
