i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
