I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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