Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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