You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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