ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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