You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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