yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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