it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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