Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
