i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
