A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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