my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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