he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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