oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
