Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
