This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
