thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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