Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
