Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
