I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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