That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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