Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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