today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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