i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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