I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
