when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
