I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
