Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
