i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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