my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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