There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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