so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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