just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
