He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize