I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
