I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We have started to decorate penises.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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