we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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