hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
