Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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