my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
