And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
