Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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