I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
