My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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