Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
