Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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